Katherine Whitby | Registered Paediatric Nurse | Health Visitor | Baby Massage Instructor | Mummy of Two | The Weaning SOS Expert | Founder of Baby Steps
Usually as parents arrive at my classes or when I arrive at their home, they are rushing. Stressed, tired, making sure they have everything they need, feeding and settling their baby. You can picture the scene. Anyone who has been to my Baby Massage & Relaxation or Soul-Full Mama and Baby classes will know that I talk about how ‘we always have our breath’ to help calm us and our babies.
Whether sitting at a red light in your car when your baby is crying, when doing the washing up and feeling tired, at your baby’s bedtime, when you can’t get back to sleep. Your breath is there to help you…and your baby. It is your trusted ally and secret weapon.
So often we are actually holding our breath (are you right now?!) in the craziness of our daily lives. Layer on the anxiety and exhaustion of being a new parent and it’s even more likely.
We say to children ‘take a deep breath’ to calm them down. But do we do this for us? As a parent trying to settle your baby, taking a deep breath may not be something you think of but actually it will not only help calm you down but your baby too - win, win!
In my Baby Massage & Relaxation or Soul-Full Mama and Baby classes we start with some relaxation; stretches and a little meditation and throughout we focus on taking soothing deep breaths. This has an amazing impact on the babies too as this blog will explain.
As a new parent, it's natural to want to create a peaceful environment for your baby.
You’ve probably heard that babies pick up on the emotions of their parents, but how exactly does this influence your little one? One simple yet powerful way to create calm for both you and your baby is through deep breathing.
“A different baby”
I have seen it happen so many times. One mum arrived at the first week of Baby Massage and Relaxation with her baby boy. She was flustered and became tearful during the relaxation session as she tried to settle him. We practiced doing the calming breaths in the class. The following week they arrived and she was like a new woman. In the safe space of the class she told us how she had been cuddling her son while taking deep breaths and he is “a different baby”, settling and sleeping. It was so magic to see how it had helped both of them. And she always has her deep breath practice to return to whenever she needs it. We all do.
Why Do Deep Breaths Matter?
When you’re feeling stressed or anxious, your body shifts into a fight-or-flight mode. Your heart rate quickens, your breathing becomes shallow, and your muscles tense up. Babies are incredibly intuitive and can sense these changes in you. They might not understand why you're stressed but they do pick up on your tension, which can make them feel unsettled.
Deep breathing helps counteract this by shifting your body from a state of stress to relaxation.
Here's how...
Activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System: Deep breathing signals to your body that it's time to calm down. This reduces your heart rate and releases tension in your muscles.
Regulates Oxygen Levels: Taking deep, slow breaths ensures that your body receives more oxygen, which can help you think more clearly and feel more grounded.
Mind-Body Connection: When you breathe deeply, you create a moment of mindfulness. This helps calm your mind, allowing you to respond more thoughtfully to your baby rather than react with stress or frustration.
How Does Your Calm Influence Your Baby?
Babies are like little emotional sponges. They may not know why you're anxious, but they do sense it. When you're relaxed, it creates an environment of security for them, which is essential for their emotional development.
Mirroring Your Calm: When you breathe deeply and slow down, your baby will often begin to mimic your rhythm. This is especially true when you hold your baby close to your chest. Your calm heartbeat and steady breathing become a soothing anchor for them.
Lowering Stress Levels: Babies have their own stress responses, and if they're already feeling fussy or overstimulated, your stress can amplify their discomfort. But when you take deep breaths and center yourself, you're also helping regulate your baby's stress response. They learn from your calmness.
Enhancing Bonding: Relaxing through deep breaths also gives you the mental space to be more present. Instead of being consumed by the day’s worries or feeling overwhelmed by a crying baby, you can focus on the precious moments you share. This presence strengthens the bond between you and your baby.
How to Start Using Deep Breaths with Your Baby
Here are a few simple techniques you can try to incorporate deep breathing into your daily routine with your baby:
1. The 3-4-5 Method
This technique helps slow your breathing and calm your body quickly. It literally helps reduce anxiety and reset you. It’s amazing to help you get back to sleep….those times when your baby is asleep and you aren’t!
Inhale quietly through your nose for 3 seconds.
Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
Exhale through your mouth for 5 seconds. Repeat this for a few rounds while holding your baby. Your calm breathing will naturally help regulate your baby's breathing too.
You may also see this as the 4-7-8 method with the same pattern
2. Chest-to-Chest Breathing
Hold your baby close to your chest, either sitting or lying down. Breathe deeply and rhythmically, focusing on long inhales and slow exhales. You’ll notice your baby relaxing into your body as they match your calm.
3. Mindful Nappy Changes
Instead of rushing through nappy changes when your baby is fussy, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. Your relaxed state will make the process smoother for both of you.
Other activities you can enjoy together such as Baby Massage, reading a story together, listening to calming music, having a walk in nature can all help too.
The Ripple Effect of Calm
The benefits of deep breathing go beyond just soothing your baby in the moment. The more you practice mindful breathing, the more naturally your body will respond to stressful situations. Over time, you'll find yourself calmer and more present during those challenging parenting moments.
As parents, we often focus so much on our baby's needs that we forget to care for ourselves which is what my Soul-Full Mama and Baby course focuses on. The incredible emotional, hormonal, physical and social transitions that occur when becoming a parent. By taking a few deep breaths, you're not only calming yourself - you're also creating a peaceful space for your baby to thrive.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, remember that a few slow, deep breaths can work wonders for both you and your little one. It’s a small step that leads to a big difference in creating a calm and happy home.
In those moments of overwhelm, a deep breath can be your best tool - not just for yourself but for your baby, too. As the saying goes, "Relaxed parents, happy babies," and it truly starts with something as simple as a breath.
Take a breath. Your baby will thank you for it.
Katherine x
How can I help you?
At Baby Steps, I am here to support you in taking small, meaningful actions that create a more peaceful parenting journey. "Relaxed parents = happy babies," threads through all my courses. Whether it's First Aid and Weaning or the wellbeing side of things through Baby Massage and Soul-Full Mama. My focus is all about giving parents confidence, reassurance and peace of mind which helps you to relax and results in your baby feeling calmer.
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